July 29, 2008

Not the news we were hoping for

Well we're out again. CD15 and the doctor has called this cycle a bust. I was actually more upset about it yesterday than today when the final decision was made. What helped is today we saw a small light at the end of the tunnel. Next cycle we are going to be put on 100mg of clomid and if it's another unsuccessful cycle we are going to be transferred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) where we will move on to injectables. Our visit today has given us some hope back where yesterday we had none.

Given all that has been going on over this past year of TTC I have decided to draw a line in the sand. So...for all those people who know me in real life and read this blog I am no longer going to be talking about TTC. Please respect that this is a subject I no longer wish to talk about. I know all comments, questions and concerns have come out of a place of love and caring but for my own well being I no longer want to discuss it.

TTC has reminded me of being at the funeral of a loved one. No one really knows what to say (especially when they haven't experienced it themselves) and the kindhearted words of encouragement and sympathy that are uttered do nothing to make you feel any better for what you are going through. On the flip side, I'm sure it's not easy for others to question how we are doing for fear of being too intrusive or dreading the negative answer that is bound to come their way.

This does not mean that I won't continue to share my thoughts and feelings openly on this blog but I would just like to keep them here. This place has become our little safe haven on the web where we can share our sadness, vent our frustrations and celebrate in the joy of others successes. TTC has already become such an all encompassing, uncontrollable part of our lives that I just need some time to take back some control and set up some boundaries.

Thank you all (our web friends and in real life) for helping us get through these past months.

July 24, 2008

Vacation's Over

Well, we are back from our forced break and it was a needed break. Europe was great and we will post pictures sometime soon. Sometimes things happen for a reason and I think our break was to force us relax and deal with things that would have been difficult to deal with during the roller coaster ride of trying to have a baby.

It has been a bit difficult because we see people and friends around us having babies or getting pregnant and we still have to climb that hill. Many of the bloggers we follow have a baby or are pregnant. (We are very happy). Some of the first bloggers I followed was SP and CD from cutest little babymakers and they welcomed their son on Tuesday. I also followed Vee and Jay and they are finally on the baby boat. It seems the people that have struggled for so long are finally on the "other" side that I want to be on. It gives me hope that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. I know I will feel that feeling someday like others. It gives me hope to read about Vee, Jay, CD, and SP. There are others but these are the ones I first followed.

Melissa and I will give it another try in the next 5-10 days. Please think of us during this time and I HOPE we can join the list of graduates within the next couple of months. We will update after we go to the doctor.

July 9, 2008

Happy Anniversary

I just want to wish my angel a happy anniersary. Thank you for giving me the best day of my life. It has been a dream to be married to you.

I love you.