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December 30, 2008

A Year in Review

I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions but I have set the intention to be a better blogger in the New Year. In the meantime I saw this on someone else's blog and thought it was a neat idea. We are very much looking forward to putting this year behind us and starting 2009!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
AMY: Went to Europe
MELISSA: Volunteered as a Pet Therapy handler, done agility classes and knitted.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

BOTH: We don't make resolutions

3. Did anyone close to you give birth
BOTH: Lots of people! in 2008 there have been 5 births and 3 pregnancies.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

BOTH: Yes. Amy's grandma passed away in June.

5. What places did you visit?
BOTH: We went to Amsterdam (and other cities in the Netherlands), Berlin, Munich, Dachau, Tulsa, Okemah, Fort Worth.
AMY: I also went to Toronto and Las Vegas

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

BOTH: A BABY!!

7. What day from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

BOTH: The day we got the phone call that they thought Amy's dad was dying and needed to get home ASAP. Also, the day of Amy's grandma's funeral.

8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?

MELISSA: That we spent the whole year TTC and I'm still not giving up hope. Training Campbell to be a therapy dog.
AMY: Being asked to help open one of the restaurants in Toronto.

9. What was your biggest failure?

AMY: Doesn't believe in failures. I believe you learn from your mistakes and challenges in life and that's why there is no such thing as a failure.
MELISSA: Not getting pregnant.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
AMY:Just the flu and a nasty shoulder injury from Wiiing too much.
MELISSA: The flu and surgery to remove ovarian polyps.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
AMY: Our trip to Europe and Rock Band.
MELISSA: Europe and Fern (even though she was technically free her vet bills she weren't)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

BOTH: We both deserve celebration!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

AMY: The state of California
MELISSA: Those who supported Prop 8

14. Where did most of your money go?

BOTH: Europe and fertility bills.
MELISSA: My car.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

AMY:Going to Toronto and Europe
MELISSA: Amy agreeing to keeping Fern and going to Europe

16. What songs will always remind you of 2008?
AMY: Pink "So What"
MELISSA: Katy Perry "I Kissed a Girl" and

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?
AMY: Happier (cause I have a better relationship with my sister), fatter (I need to lose 10 lbs), same
MELISSA: Sadder, same, same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
AMY: Drank more water and spent less time on the computer
MELISSA: Not let TTC run my life. Not hold off on buying clothes, attending events or making long term commitments because I thought I'd be pregnant.

20. How did you spend Christmas in 2008?

BOTH: In a hotel in Tulsa before spending time with Amy's family for Christmas Dinner (aka Lunch). We then saw the movie Benjamin Button.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
BOTH: Yes, with Fern.

22. What are your three favorite photos of 2008?

AMY: Pictures of the animals and Europe
MELISSA: My post op pictures

23. What was your favorite TV program?

AMY: LOST, Prison Break and So You Think You Can Dance UPDATED: Dexter
MELISSA: LOST, Pushing Daisies, How I Met Your Mother and American Idol

24. What did you do for your birthday in 2008?
AMY: I had a birthday week! I got to open a present everyday of my birthday week.
MELISSA: Drinks with the girls and Amy took me out to dinner

25. What was the best book you read?

AMY: Into Thin Air
MELISSA: Red Tent, Water for Elephants and Twilight Series

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

AMY: Boyce Avenue and Rock Band
MELISSA: Rock Band

27. What did you want and get?

AMY: To go to Europe and Toronto
MELISSA: A raise

28. What did you want and not get?

BOTH: Pregnant

29. What were your favorite three films this year?

AMY: Milk, Dark Knight and
MELISSA: Taxi to the Dark Side, Burn After Reading and Iron Man

30. Did you make some new friends this year?

BOTH: Yes we made new friends at work and through existing friends.

31.What is one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

AMY: Getting pregnant
MELISSA: Getting my Green Card and getting pregnant.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

AMY: What is this thing you call fashion?!?
MELISSA: Jeans and t-shirt

33. What kept you sane?

BOTH: Each other and the furry kids

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

BOTH: Prop 8.

35. Who did you miss?

AMY: My grandma
MELISSA: My dad
Both: Seeing Melissa's family

36. Who was the best new person you met?

AMY: Fern (she is a person to us)
MELISSA: Friends at work and those of you who's blogs we read

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

AMY: Life is short. Live it.
MELISSA: Go with your gut. I believe we would be in a different space right now instead of starting back at square one after 18months of TTC. We began to question the doctor for HSGs and injectables after Try #4 but continued to follow her plan even though we felt it wasn't right for us. For those who are just starting off the lesson I learned is don't even start trying until you have gotten you CD3 blood work done and had an HSG.

December 3, 2008

Prop 8 - The Musical

I thought this was great!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

November 24, 2008

On the Mend

Thanks all for your kind words, they meant a lot to Amy and me. I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. Both procedures last week went fine and the only real pain I felt afterward was in my shoulders and back from the damn gas they put in my body. The ride home was pretty brutal. Nothing like puking in a bag in the car during the middle of rush hour.

We managed to get some pictures from the procedure (which I have to admit are pretty cool) and a pair of socks with slip resistant pads on the bottom. This by no means took the sting out of the bill but it did make me feel like I was getting something for my money. Kind of like when you go to a hotel and take home the mini shampoo and conditioner from the shower.

My tubes are all clear which is a relief since they weren't sure based off the HSG and they removed two fibroids from my uterus. I also had to go back to get some blood work done due to my Prolactin level being high. So I'm now on a prescription to bring that level back down to normal range.

We have our post-op visit with the doctor on the 8th and can hopefully get started again in January. I'm so gratefully that even though it took us over a year to get where we are that we are finally at a place where I feel like we are actually making progress and getting answers and possible solutions to why things haven't been going our way.

November 9, 2008

Procedure

Well we received our results from the doctors appointment. After CD3 blood test and a HSG the results are in and Melissa has to have a Hysteroscopy and a Laparoscopy. Based on the HSG the doctor wants to confirm that one of her fallopian tubes isn't blocked and that she doesn't have any polyps in her uterus. Follow up ultrasounds showed that there is a high possibility that polyps do exist but the blocked tube is still inconclusive.

The good news is we know where the problems are and if corrected after the surgery we could proceed as if everything was normal. We may even get to avoid injectibles and be able to become pregnant by going back on the clomid. It is a bit scary to have surgery but I am relieved that something is going to be done. I am going to take good care of her next week so there will be nothing to worry about.

October 22, 2008

Friday Appointment

We are going to the fertility specialist on Friday hoping to move to injectibles. We are new to this process and would love for any feedback about what others have experienced in a similar process. If anyone could help us out in giving us questions we should ask we would greatly appreciate it.

We will give an update sometime this weekend on what we found out. Thanks in advanced for any feedback or questions to ask.

Amy

September 21, 2008

Another Try Bites the Dust

Well we're out again. Officially today but we had an idea yesterday so we split a pitcher of sangria at the movies last night, along with some beer. Although we are bummed we aren't too upset since for us this is the start of something new. I'm calling the doc tomorrow and we'll see what our protocol is moving forward since we will be moving on to injectables. I have a feeling that we'll be off for at least a month. Thanks for all your support!!

September 18, 2008

CD12 - Best Chart Ever

So here's my chart as it stands so far, promising no?? Then why the BFN :(


September 12, 2008

Ike

Man, this hurricane is going to be bad. I'm so grateful that all our friends and family in Houston and Galveston has gotten out. I truly hope everyone heeded the warnings and fled the coast but sadly I know that this is'nt the case. I wish everyone could come out of this unscathed.

Being in Austin I don't think we'll see much more then some wind and rain. I didn't go crazy and fill my bathtub with water or go buy a generator but I do have my candles and lighter at the ready in case our power goes out.

On the TTC, front not much to say. Today is 6DPO and I go in tomorrow moring for a progestrone blood draw. My temps are up (see fertility chart) so I know I ovulated and I have never had a low progesterone level before so we'll see what my numbers are later next week.

September 7, 2008

1DPO

Well the deed is done and now we are officially in the TWW. Temp was up today so I feel good about the timing.

I went in for a trigger shot Friday afternoon and had the IUI Saturday afternoon. Amy was unable to come yesterday because of work :( But on the bright side (for some strange reason) whenever Amy isn't there the doctor doesn't have to use the dreaded tenaculum. So I feel like it's the Universe's gift to me that without Amy there for morale support, that I'm being given less pain and stress at my appointments.

Amy hasn't been able to go to many of our doctor's appointments this time around and she is leaving for 11 days to Toronto on Tuesday so she won't be here when I test either. We're both hoping that her absence will bring us good luck this time just like it does when she can't come to the IUI appointments. :)

September 6, 2008

PostSecret

One of my guilty Sunday pleasures is going to PostSecret and seeing the new cards for the week. Some cards make me laugh out loud, others stick with me throughout the day. Then there are those certain postcards that really hit home.

September 4, 2008

A Pause for Politics

Unfortunately, since I'm not a US Citizen I can't vote in the upcoming elections but that hasn't stopped me from watching the DNC and RNC. A co-worker of mine sent me this very cool (non-biased) website out of the Netherlands. By answering approx. 40 questions it shows you how you align with each of the candidates. You can narrow it by issues, see their stance, etc.

Follicle Follow-up

YAY!! All your positive thoughts worked. Follicle grew to 19mm. So it looks like we are good to go on Saturday. Ordered the swimmers this morning and if I don't surge on my own I go in tomorrow afternoon for an HCG trigger shot. Thanks all for your encouragement :)

September 2, 2008

Ho Hum Day

So after a sleepless night of stressing out about another failed follicle scan everything kinda worked out (so far). Today is CD12 and I have one 13mm follicle. I guess I was just greedy and wanting more than one. I know, I know, one is all you need but I still was hoping for more, especially on the 100mg of clomid I was on. So I go back Thursday morning for another scan to see if we are still being given the green light to continue this cycle.

I swear the TWW is going to be a piece of cake after all these starts and stops we’ve been going through during the first half of the cycle. So please everyone send positive thoughts our way that we can actually give it a real go this cycle after months of sitting on the bench.

August 25, 2008

Clomid Check, Check

Passed my clomid check with flying colors. So we're on to Try #6 again. Follicle scan next Tuesday and I start my 100mg of clomid tomorrow. While I was getting everything in order today I realized that because of these past few months of forced breaks and annovulatory cycles we haven't even gotten a chance to use our new donor yet. Hopefully, this time we can give it a go.

It's hard to believe that we are still on Try #6, we've been on Try #6 since March. We've now hit 1 year of TTC with nothing but tears and heartache to show for it. It's amazing to read back how bright eyed and excited we were 12 months ago and how much more hardened we've come to this whole experience. It sometimes feels more like a second job where I'm only being given night shifts and working minimum wage. I just have to keep hoping that this past year has been for something. I can honestly say that doing this has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I hope it's over soon.

August 4, 2008

It's a GIRL!!

We'd like to introduce you all to the latest addition to our family. This is Fern.






She was found in a box with a rock on it in a dumpster behind my work last week (it's hard to believe there are people in the world who would do that). Poor little thing was only 4 weeks old and itty bitty. She's now up to 1 pound!!

Campbell is in love, he plays and sleeps with her. Olive is slowly warming up to her, cautiously sniffing her and even napping with her today. Ivy on the other hand is not really excited about having a new sister, but with everything it always takes longer for Ivy to adapt to change.

Fern has been a great addition to our family and has definitely added some excitement to our days (and interrupted sleep at night).

July 29, 2008

Not the news we were hoping for

Well we're out again. CD15 and the doctor has called this cycle a bust. I was actually more upset about it yesterday than today when the final decision was made. What helped is today we saw a small light at the end of the tunnel. Next cycle we are going to be put on 100mg of clomid and if it's another unsuccessful cycle we are going to be transferred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) where we will move on to injectables. Our visit today has given us some hope back where yesterday we had none.

Given all that has been going on over this past year of TTC I have decided to draw a line in the sand. So...for all those people who know me in real life and read this blog I am no longer going to be talking about TTC. Please respect that this is a subject I no longer wish to talk about. I know all comments, questions and concerns have come out of a place of love and caring but for my own well being I no longer want to discuss it.

TTC has reminded me of being at the funeral of a loved one. No one really knows what to say (especially when they haven't experienced it themselves) and the kindhearted words of encouragement and sympathy that are uttered do nothing to make you feel any better for what you are going through. On the flip side, I'm sure it's not easy for others to question how we are doing for fear of being too intrusive or dreading the negative answer that is bound to come their way.

This does not mean that I won't continue to share my thoughts and feelings openly on this blog but I would just like to keep them here. This place has become our little safe haven on the web where we can share our sadness, vent our frustrations and celebrate in the joy of others successes. TTC has already become such an all encompassing, uncontrollable part of our lives that I just need some time to take back some control and set up some boundaries.

Thank you all (our web friends and in real life) for helping us get through these past months.

July 24, 2008

Vacation's Over

Well, we are back from our forced break and it was a needed break. Europe was great and we will post pictures sometime soon. Sometimes things happen for a reason and I think our break was to force us relax and deal with things that would have been difficult to deal with during the roller coaster ride of trying to have a baby.

It has been a bit difficult because we see people and friends around us having babies or getting pregnant and we still have to climb that hill. Many of the bloggers we follow have a baby or are pregnant. (We are very happy). Some of the first bloggers I followed was SP and CD from cutest little babymakers and they welcomed their son on Tuesday. I also followed Vee and Jay and they are finally on the baby boat. It seems the people that have struggled for so long are finally on the "other" side that I want to be on. It gives me hope that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. I know I will feel that feeling someday like others. It gives me hope to read about Vee, Jay, CD, and SP. There are others but these are the ones I first followed.

Melissa and I will give it another try in the next 5-10 days. Please think of us during this time and I HOPE we can join the list of graduates within the next couple of months. We will update after we go to the doctor.

July 9, 2008

Happy Anniversary

I just want to wish my angel a happy anniersary. Thank you for giving me the best day of my life. It has been a dream to be married to you.

I love you.
Amy

May 30, 2008

Keeping Busy

I'll post more about what we've been up to these past few weeks but wanted to post a video in the meantime. We got a flip video camera to bring with us to chronicle our European vacation and decided to test it out today.

Enjoy!


video

April 7, 2008

Vacation

Well we received some bad news today at the doctor’s office. Melissa didn’t have large enough follicles and it looks like she will not ovulate this month. Our Doctor recommended we take three months off and try birth control to give her body a rest. When we start again she will start on the lowest level of Clomid.

I could see the pain in Melissa’s face when the Doctor was searching for follicles and I felt bad news was coming. I knew when our options came that Melissa would be devastated, and she was.

This whole process is so draining and difficult only those who are and have gone through it can understand the toll it takes on your mind and body. So many lows you are forced to rebound quickly and start again. We both feel so drained and empty. I know most of you will say well it will be good to have a break and you know what you are probably correct but we don’t want to hear that because we didn’t want to take a break.

On the positive side, we may take a trip to Europe with Melissa’s mom that we were hoping to go. I am happy that Melissa and I can have a break without the appointments the testing the temping. I guess we can be “normal” again and prepare for the start of more roller coaster rides in August. We will probably take a break on blogging but both Melissa and I will read to see what is going on with everyone else.

We are lucky because we have made it through this difficult process and we still love each other and have each other. I know that I am VERY lucky to be able to love my best friend and share my life with her.

We will be back……..

April 1, 2008

Out with the old

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been pretty bummed and really didn't have the energy to write about my feelings about another BFN and then about how excited I am to be trying again. Because really I'm not.

I wasn't naive when we first started this whole process, I never really thought we would get it in the first try but moving on to Try #6 is hitting me hard. I took last Monday off as a mental health day at work because I was just not capable of being a functioning human being. So one of the things I decided to do was to put in our garden. On my last trip to the store for a final bag of soil I ended up breaking my toe. Which of course helped make my mental health day all the more healthier.

I now look at my stupid broken toe as a metaphor for our whole TTC experience. It hurt like a bitch but the pain soon eased. I had to remember to be gentle and take care of myself but eventually I was able to move forward. It was this experience that started Mission Fresh Start.

We decided to shake things up a bit. Even though we've talked about it before we never really were able to do it. But now we have...we've officially changed donors. We actually like our new donor better then our old one. He's artistic but has an athletic background, comes from a highly educated family and we really liked all he had to say in his application. Amy also likes that this donor had a baby picture we could look at.

As an ode to a Mission Fresh Start I chopped 12 inches off my hair today and the bonus of it was that my hair will be donated to Locks of Love. Dramatic and cliche I know, but I just have to feel like I have control over something that has to do with my own body. So if cutting my hair after being depressed is cliche, so be it.

Thanks all for your support with our last BFN. I know I have been tagged and I promise promise to do them this week.

March 23, 2008

Temp Drop

I didn't have the heart to test this morning. My temp plummeted, so I think I'll let that speak for itself, adding a BFN into the mix wouldn't be helpful at all.

Happy Easter everyone!!

March 22, 2008

Book Club Help

I have book club on Tuesday. This month we are reading the Red Tent. Does anyone have any recommendations that I could suggest for next month?

Life Lesson

Instead of doing the normal thing of learning from my own mistakes I decided to learn from a friend's tragedy and pass the warning on. A few weeks a go a friend left her house with her kids to go and run some errands. Upon returning home her house was engulfed in flames. Parts of their house were completely destroyed while the remainder has heavy smoke damage. The fire started in the laundry room, specifically with her dryer. What this has taught me is that we are NEVER leaving the house again with our washer, dryer or dishwasher running. So scary.

Her kids are 2 and 4 and I felt bad that they lost their stuff so I wanted to help but felt helpless. So I decided to do what I do best and I made each of them their very own blanket. They both have fleece on the back so they are extra comfy. If anyone wants to make a very easy blanket the tutorial can be found here.





On the TTC front, my temps are still up and if they look that way tomorrow we are going to test. Tomorrow we will be 12DPO also known as 3weeks and 5 days pregnant.

March 16, 2008

Mall Map

March 14, 2008

Cross Hairs

Looks like we did well on the timing. Now we just have 11 more days to see that this time worked!



I'm trying to be way more positive this time around as I figure it can't hurt any. I created a home office area in our house complete with a bulletin board that I have now converted into my vision board. It has pictures of babies, positive pregnancy tests, Sagittarius signs (we calculated that the baby would be born December 4th), just everything that is baby. It's a good way for me to remember to stay positive.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

March 10, 2008

Procrastinating

I'm trying to find anything I can to do besides work. So in that effort I thought I would give a brief update on where we are as of today. As Amy already mentioned I had my first scan on Friday and had one follicle at 18mm and the other was at 20mm. The doctor was on call all weekend thinking I might surge and we could do the IUI. Since that didn't happen I went back to the doctor today for scan #2 now the follicles are measuring 24mm and 20mm. Given the fact that even this morning I wasn't getting a +OPK I got a trigger shot and booked my IUI for tomorrow afternoon.

Fingers crossed that this is the one. Okay, now I better get back to work :(

March 8, 2008

Why I am glad I left the state of Oklahoma

People like this make me sick to my stomach. It is sad that we have leaders and teachers that are such idiots like this spreading this hate and bullshit to others in the community.

Update on try #5

Well an update about try #5. Yesterday, we went to the doctor to check out Melissa’s follicles. This is our second time to do the monitored cycle. The first time, there was only one follicle and it was smaller than we expected. This time there were two good size follicles. We felt better knowing there was more than one good size follicle. Our doctor informed us that we might not have to use a trigger shot this time. We have had to use a trigger shot for all our tries except the first try. We will probably inseminate Monday but there is a chance for Sunday or Tuesday.

I have a really good feeling about this cycle (Melissa thinks I always have a good feeling) .Well, first we are inseminating around Melissa’s birthday (3/7). This would be a great late birthday present for her. Next, we will find out if this cycle worked on her sister Carly’s birthday (a great birthday present for Carly I think). Finally, the due date of our baby would be around my birthday. Melissa thinks I am reading too much into this and we could find things like this each time. However, I think that all this is perfect timing for great news.

Happy Birthday Melissa!

March 2, 2008

Tagged

I was tagged by Lizzie at Two Chicks In Pursuit of a Babe. The rules are as follows:

1. Grab the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Find the first 5 sentences and write them down.
4. Then invite 5 friends to do the same.

Currently at book club we are reading The Red Tent by Anita Diamant.

But as my father recovered his health, his fear returned even greater than before and changed him. Jacob could speak of nothing else but his brother's revenge, and he saw the nighttime attack and his struggle with the army of angels as portents of the battle to come. He grew suspicious of any attempt to calm him and sent gentle Reuben away. Instead, he came to depend upon Levi, who let Jacob number his worries endlessly and nodded grimly at our father's direst predictions.

I think everyone I read has already been tagged. If I've missed someone or if you would like to join let me know in the comments and I can add your name and a link to your blog in this post.

February 24, 2008

Officially Out...Again

Clomid check tomorrow and on to Try #5.

February 22, 2008

13DPO

Another BFN :( My temp this morning was still high so I don't know what to think. 2 cycles ago my temp never dropped either. So frustrating. We've decided not to test anymore. So we'll see if the weekend brings AF.

February 21, 2008

12DPO

We ended up testing this morning. Negative :( Keeping our fingers crossed that it might be too early. The one weird "symptom" I do have is that I have unquenchable thirst. I can't get enough water. I normally sleep throughout the night but over the past couple days I've woken up and had to drink a huge glass of water. Even during the day I can't drink enough water, I feel thirsty all the time. Very strange. Guess we'll see what the next few days brings.

February 19, 2008

10DPO

Not much to say. No symptoms (except for the ones I always get before AF) so I'm really not holding out much hope this time around. Not sure if we're going to test or just wait and see if AF shows or not. I'm letting Amy make that call.

So to keep myself occupied I finished the top section of my friend's baby quilt. I LOVE IT and am so excited to give it to her. She's having a little girl and I thought it would be great to incorporate pictures of her and her husband as babies into the pattern. Below is a quick peek. If anyone reading this knows JD please don't tell her what I'm making, it's a surprise.




February 14, 2008

Sick Sick Sick

Just a quick note to wish everyone a Happy Valentines Day. Amy hates hates hates today and happily for her I'm sick with a bad cold/flu/virus (I never know the difference between the 3) so she is off the hook for having to do anything tonight.

Right now we are sitting at 5DPO, acupuncture yesterday went well he gave me some extra needles to help with my congestion. It's day's like this where I'm grateful to work from home so I can sit on the couch with my box of Kleenex and work on the computer in my PJs.

February 9, 2008

Try #4

This week was filled with doctor's appointments. I went in on Tuesday for my first follicle scan. There were a bunch of little ones but only 1 dominant follicle at 18mm. When I went back in Thursday for scan #2 the 18mm had grown to 20mm. Our doctor gave me the marching orders that if I didn't surge on my own by Friday to come in and get a trigger shot.

So now it's Saturday and the deed is done. I went in yesterday for my hcg trigger shot and we went in this morning for the IUI. I'm pretty ho hum about this cycle. Not sure if it's because we did monitored cycles this time so I feel a lot of the responsibility shift off of me or if it's just because I'm trying to protect myself from feeling excitement only to have it crush down around me. It is times like this that I look in awe at the people who have been doing this over and over again and find the strength and spirit to continue on to the next cycle.

We've decided to stop temping again after we've detected the temperature shift. It was really helpful in easing the stress last time we did it.

Thank you all for the kind words about Amy's dad. They meant a lot to both of us.

Next steps:
Acupuncture Wednesday
Get progesterone levels checked next Saturday

February 3, 2008

Busy Year

It has been a while since I have posted on the blog. There are many reasons but mostly because we have been out of baby mode for the last 2 months. Another reason is that my dad is sick.

Last year was a roller coaster for me, it was unforgettable. Last year we focused on having a baby and started this blog. We also got married in Canada. I had disagreements with family on my decisions to have a baby. My mom got married to someone I had not even met. We thought we were pregnant and then suffered a loss before getting pregnant. Finally, we found out at the end of the year my dad has cancer.

It was a big blow to an interesting year. Just six months before the news about my dad, he came to Calgary to celebrate my wedding. He was the only represeative of my family that came to our day. Just his acceptance and his desire to come to Canada made me closer to him than I have ever been. My dad has his flaws but his heart is bigger than anyone I know. I hope that I am just like him.

My dad had surgery at the first of the year to remove the cancer and the good news is that the surgery went well and they got it out. The bad news is that it went to the lymph nodes. They told us out of many tested it was only found in three. However, chemotherapy is now needed.

A week ago from today, I received a phone call that my dad was in bad shape and they couldn't stabilize him. Melissa and I flew out right away and fortunately, my dad survived the scare. His blood pressure was at 47/29 and he made it. We found out that after his surgery something happened and he had an infection on his abdomen. He was septic and really sick. Today he is home, happy, and ready to fight the next step.

Melissa keeps wondering if we should wait to start trying to have a baby but I really want to keep going. It is something I can focus on and it also makes my dad happy.

It looks like we will be inseminating later this week. Wish us luck.

January 23, 2008

Try #4 right around the corner

Sorry I haven't been posting much. As much as I'm excited to get back to TTC I'm also really dreading it. It's been so nice not to have your every thought wrapped around getting pregnant and all the hard things about it are starting to re-enter my mind the closer we get to starting again.

So a second friend has gotten pregnant after having tried for 1 month. I'm so very happy for these friends but it's hard to handle at the same time. We have doctor's appointments, needles, pills, thermometers, stirrups, OPKs, monitors, scheduling, timing and lets not forget about the money. I guess I'm just jealous that this is such an ordeal for us and it's so easy for my friends. I think the fact that they are pregnant isn't helping me start this time around either because it just adds to that failure feeling if it doesn't work. It's hard not to compare yourself.

January 12, 2008

Fall Back Recipies

Do any of you have any recipes that you are constantly using? For me it's lasagna and for Amy it's tacos. I'm trying to add to my little recipe box so I would love to hear the one recipe you always tend to reach for. The reason I bring this up is because we're having a few friends over tomorrow night for dinner and to watch The L Word and I'm pulling out my old faithful lasagna recipe because it's fast, easy and above all VERY TASTY.

No Boil Lasagna (serves 8)
Ingredients:
1T vegetable oil
1 medium onion
1 clove minced garlic
1lb ground beef
2-14oz cans tomato sauce
1-10oz can sliced mushrooms
1/2c water
1t oregano
1c cottage cheese
1/3c grated Parmesan cheese
1 egg slightly beaten
2t vegetable oil
1t salt
1-6oz package sliced mozzarella cheese
15 pieces uncooked lasagna

Instructions: (Preheat oven 375F)
Cook garlic, onion and meat over medium heat until brown. Remove excess fat. Stir in tomato sauce, mushrooms with their liquid, water and oregano; bring to boil and remove from heat. Combine cottage cheese, Parmesan cheese, egg, oil and salt. Spoon 1/3 of sauce into 9'x13' baking dish. Cover with 1/3 lasagna. Spread another 1/3 of sauce and cover with another 1/3 of lasagna. Spread cheese mixture and cover with remaining lasagna and sauce. Top with mozzarella cheese slices. Cover with foil and bake at 375F for 45min. Uncover and bake until cheese starts to brown about 15 min.

January 10, 2008

Plugging Our Blog Back In

Sorry all for the radio silence as of late. We've been around and looking at others blogs but we were taking full advantage of our break cycle and just hiding out for awhile. Along with the holidays and stuff going on with Amy's family we just needed to focus our energy elsewhere for a bit. But we're back now and excited to hop on the TTC train again.

So officially we're on CD29 of our break cycle and no surprise to me it seems as though this is another annovulatory cycle. So I guess it's good that I've been bumped up to 100mg of clomid. I'm very much looking forward to going into try #4 being more closely monitored as I think it will take a lot more stress off of me.

At book club the other night a friend who was there (and 8 months pregnant) was telling me how her and her husband had tried everything to get pregnant (short of IVF). They had finally given up hope that they would ever have a baby, fast forward a couple years later and they decided to try again. The first thing she did was to go on a gluten free diet and the following month she was pregnant. Has anyone heard anything about the effects of gluten on fertility?

So I busted my but these past few weeks and am officially done the top of Amy's quilt and can hopefully finish it off in the next couple weeks so that I can start on my next quilt project. Amy wanted LOTS OF COLOR in her quilt. Do you think there's enough??