Well we received some bad news today at the doctor’s office. Melissa didn’t have large enough follicles and it looks like she will not ovulate this month. Our Doctor recommended we take three months off and try birth control to give her body a rest. When we start again she will start on the lowest level of Clomid.
I could see the pain in Melissa’s face when the Doctor was searching for follicles and I felt bad news was coming. I knew when our options came that Melissa would be devastated, and she was.
This whole process is so draining and difficult only those who are and have gone through it can understand the toll it takes on your mind and body. So many lows you are forced to rebound quickly and start again. We both feel so drained and empty. I know most of you will say well it will be good to have a break and you know what you are probably correct but we don’t want to hear that because we didn’t want to take a break.
On the positive side, we may take a trip to Europe with Melissa’s mom that we were hoping to go. I am happy that Melissa and I can have a break without the appointments the testing the temping. I guess we can be “normal” again and prepare for the start of more roller coaster rides in August. We will probably take a break on blogging but both Melissa and I will read to see what is going on with everyone else.
We are lucky because we have made it through this difficult process and we still love each other and have each other. I know that I am VERY lucky to be able to love my best friend and share my life with her.
We will be back……..
8 years ago
27 comments:
So sorry guys. I think chosen breaks are VERY different than forced breaks. I'm really, really sorry that you are feeling low, you are soooo right that this process can be so hard and only those of us in it can know what it is like. Please take good care of yourselves!! I will miss your bloginess...but I will keep checking in.
Well, I definitely recommend going to Europe before you have a baby! That's a great thing to look forward to in your forced break... which naturally does suck.
Though I hated BCPs and they turned me into a raving lunatic, I did get pregnant right after using them. So they've actually earned a small, twisted, soft spot in my heart. May the same happen for you. XOXO
Im so sorry. It really is frustrating when our bodies don't cooperate. Our doc drug up kicking and screaming to clomid - but for us it wasn't too bad and it worked. The three months off seem extreme - but hopefully you both can find a corner to store the pain in and try for some peace. good luck.
hi girls, i realy know nothing can make you feel better right now that any of us can say... it must be very painful... i wont say that its prob a good thing, but i will say i beleive fate works in amazing ways, and there is a reason its not now, not this time and you are taking the break...it will hurt, but you wil get through it togteher. Please know we are thinking of you. You dont know this, but your blog is the first lesbian TTC blog we ever found (you opened up a whole new world for us), and we have a real soft spot for you both... if we want anyone to get preg, its you girls. We will keep you in our thoughts... and if you can blog, we would love to still hear about your adventures on your break. Best wishes, Stacey and Megan. x
Awww, I'm so sorry. Having trouble TTC is just one exercise in loss of control over one's body after another, but being forced to take a break is one of the worst, in my experience. I hope it brings a silver lining of some respite from the monthly grind. Hopefully the doctor is right and a rest is exactly what your body needs to find your BFP. You're both in my thoughts.
I am so sorry and can only imagine how difficult this process has been. Your love for each other is wonderful and I hope it continues to bring you comfort and support.
So, so sorry for the bad news and the forced break. Time does heal, but that's no comfort in the immediate aftermath of news you didn't want to hear. Thinking of you both. I will just say that in my darkest hour it actually made me feel better to schedule an appointment with another doctor for a "second opinion". Made me feel like I could take some control back. We've taken a (much welcomed) detour from TTC, but when we get back to it, we'll start back with a new doc that I wish we would have found in the first place. Take care, and we'll be thinking of you!
Amy & Melissa - i'm so sorry that you didn't have big enough follicles, that the doc is recommending three months out, and that you're so disappointed and sad. Sending lots of love and light. Go to Europe for sure! Hugs.
Oh what? That's so unfair and infuriating. You're right, breaks suck. Unplanned ones suck the worst. I'm so sorry.
But seriously, if you make it to England during your Eurpoe trip, you MUSY come and stay with us. We NEVER get to meet IVPers and it would be really cool.
damn. I'm so sorry for this information. A vacation sounds wonderful and much needed
I just wanted to say Hi. And that I'm thinking of you both.
This effing sucks. Having an enforced one month break was a total bummer for me, I can only imagine how much harder a 3 month break would be. There is enough waiting already in this process without forcing more onto you. I'm sorry you guys are feeling so down right now. Breaks are good in some ways, even blogging breaks. We'll be here when you get back. (hugs)
I'm so sorry. Much love to you both. You'll stay in my thoughts and close to my heart. xoox
Hopes that this forced break provides perspective, space and then rejuvenation. Peace.
Shit. I'm so sorry girls. You're both in my thoughts.
Imposed breaks are never fun. Believe me, I know. Europe will be fun, though.xo
((Amy and Melissa))
Forced breaks NEVER feel good, and it's hard to look at them as positive events when all you want to do is keep trying. I so know how this feels, and I'll be thinking of you these next few months. A trip to Europe, however, would certainly make the break worthwhile. I hope you get to do it. Take care, girls.
I'm really sorry. I hope your break goes as well as it can considering the circumstances.
Best of Luck...
So sorry to hear this news. I can't imagine how either of you must feel right now. At least there is a bright spot--Europe--and you should well enjoy yourself.
Try to remind yourself of all of the positive things you have in your life and in each other.
Best to you both....
Hope you're having a good vacation. Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you. - Lizzie
I'm sorry. I hope you enjoy some time away from TTCing. Enjoy spending time with each other!
Take care,
Holly & Lois
hi. i'm de-lurking. just wanted to say sorry for the bad news. breaks are good, too...
hugs.
(hope you don't mind i'm gonna add you on my roll)
www.vergesradack.blogspot.com
No excuses, Amy. Own your bully ways. You and Ryan loved the power of being older and I was the one that suffered. Nice try ;)
I'm sorry to hear that you're having troubles. But the most important thing is not to give up, just have a break, try to relax a little and things will go in your way, you'll see:)
Hello Amy and Melissa,
I just stumbled across your blog. We have had a very similar year to yours on the baby making roller coaster ride. Thanks for sharing your journey. We had to take time of as well. Hopefully we will be back in this month. Have a great holiday and good luck when you are ready to start again.
Emily
Hoping you girls are doing okay. xo
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