September 13, 2010


Well we've officially been in Toronto one whole week. I was debating about what I was going to write on the blog about everything, should I just go with the canned response of "everything is fine" or "we're getting settled" but then I realized I had to be honest because that really is the point of this blog. To document our lives so we can look back and remember.

So the answer to the question of "How is everything going?" is that this is really hard and lonely. I'm not a big change person and here I am thrust into a situation where EVERYTHING is different and I know no one. I guess you can say it's getting better. I used to cry at least once a day about being here but the tears have stopped and I'm slowly starting to accept that this is our new life.

The first day we arrived Amy picked us up from the airport and made a comment when about going home. It felt so wrong for her to use that term for this place that we live, it's a house it's not our home. Home for me is still Austin.

I so desperately miss my friends, Jack's daycare, our house where Jack was born, even the little things like our grocery store. Even though I was born and raised in Canada it feels like such a foreign place. Amy and I joke that if we had moved to some far off country it might be easier because you expect things to be different. But living here and it being in some aspects very much like the US it makes the difference all the more jarring.

I think the hardest adjustment for me is being thrust into the roll of stay at home mom. In someways I feel like I'm just bumbling along trying to keep the day exciting for Jackson while at the same time not losing my mind being cooped up in the house most of the day. I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job. My feelings are only made to feel more real when Jackson cries most of the day. Rationally I know he's upset because of the two new teeth he has coming in but emotionally I think it's because hes not happy with me. I'm going to try to venture out to a baby thing this week at one of the Ontario Early Years Centers and see how it goes, maybe it will help lift both our spirits.

I know it will get better, I know I need to move forward, I know I need to get out of the house, I know these things. I know that things will get less hard and be less lonely over time. I really do, it just doesn't help in the moment.

September 11, 2010

Almost Crawling

September 5, 2010

A New Normal

Well Friday I left Austin, before Melissa and Jackson, to move to Austin to get the new house ready for the animals. Leaving Austin was so difficult for me because there are so many great people that live in Austin that we have grown to love.

Austin has so much history for us (10 years). It is where I fell in love with Melissa, bought my first house, adopted 3 great animals and Fern (just kidding), started to plan the idea of having a baby, found out after many disappointments that Melissa was pregnant, Jackson was born at home and I adopted Jackson.

You can see why it was so hard to leave so much history and great people. I will miss Austin so much and I will definitely go back to visit the people we consider family. But there are some positives to living in Toronto. which I can talk about in another post but one I really wanted to mention is about our status. Now that we live in Canada we can officially check the married box on forms!

The animals left Austin Saturday (3 am) to drive to Houston to get on a plane to make the move to Toronto. If you don’t know us I should tell you that our animals mean so much to us they are part of the family. So every decision regarding the time of the move, when I move and when Melissa moves was made around what was best for them. It didn’t work out as we wanted but we chose the best option given to us. Poor Melissa had to send them off in their cages at 3am and it was difficult for her to do.

During the day, I tried to make their new home better and bought them all sorts of goodies and toys. After 2.5 hours in the Toronto Airport they came to their new home. I was so happy to see them and they were happy to see me. Three of them sleep with me on my air mattress. It wasn’t as traumatic as I thought it would be on them. I think this whole process was more difficult on us than it was for them.

Well, the final phase of the move is done. We have our stuff and are slowly unpacking. Now that Melissa and Jackson are here it feels a lot better. Our life has been chaotic for what feels like a month and I am ready to get things back to normal, a new normal.