April 25, 2009


Melissa and I have had this blog for over two years now. We have always been selective on who we would let know about our blog. We only told a few family and friends. Because of this there have been times where we chose not to write something because we were trying to be sensitive to the feelings of others in real life (IRL) who read the blog. The reason we didn't give it to everyone was so we would feel free to openly speak our minds, while also still having a "normal" life outside of the baby making world.

The past two months have been VERY hard on both Melissa and me. I think it's clear that we have had a rocky time of things lately. Emotionally, we have both hit bottom more than once. One thing that's really helped us is the support of all of you who read our blog and share in our ups and downs (as we do yours). It's odd how in some ways we're all complete strangers, but we feel closer to you than some of our friends and family IRL.

As this whole process has dragged on it feels as though we are losing the support of the family and friends who have been participating in this journey with us. We don't hear those encouraging words anymore or feel the outreach of a little gesture that used to let us know that they were there for us.

Looking at it from their side of things it must be difficult to know when to say or do something, and when they do decide that something should be said what on earth are they supposed to say? It just feels like right now everyone is caught up and moving forward with their lives and leaving us behind. It just hurts.

April 23, 2009

The Good, Bad and the Ugly

Good: Amy got a promotion today! I'm so so proud of her. She's been working so hard and is totally deserving.

Bad: Follicle scan this morning showed multiple cysts.

Ugly: Looks like once again we are on hold *sigh* Why can't we seem to ever catch a break in the TTC department. I'm starting birth control pills today and go in for a follow up scan in 2 weeks. I'm not going to lie, all the old feelings of being a broken dysfunctional human being came rushing back but I was able to not dwell in the darkness for too long. I just have to keep reminding myself that we aren't in a race and that it will happen when it's supposed to happen.

Side note: You MUST MUST see the documentary "Dear Zachary" (if any of you have Netflix you can watch it instantly). It is one of the most astonishing and tragic films I have ever seen. Make sure to watch it with Kleenex.

April 21, 2009

Spin Room

10 positive things I could make out of Try #8 not working:

1. I got to drink wine with dinner last night
2. Our baby won't be born close to Christmas (which was an issue with Amy since Thanksgiving ALWAYS ruins her birthday)
3. Our baby will be born in 2010 which will make it super easy for he/she to calculate how old they are when they are older
4. The ice cold glass of Coca Cola tasted damn good
5. Happy Hour on Thursday with friends will be extra fun with queso AND beer
6. "April showers bring May flowers", so I'm sure it will bring babies too, right?
7. I won't we as hugely pregnant when we go to the Austin City Limits Music Festival in October.
8. We got to order Season 3 of LOST (we agreed we deserved a gift if we got a BFN)
9. Amy gets a reprieve from having to clean the litter box for a little bit longer
10. We're one more try closer to getting our BFP!

Thanks all for your condolences and kind words. Amy and I are overwhelmed by the response. We are now officially onto Try #9. Scan tomorrow and we'll learn what our Follistim dosage will be.


Not much else left to say.

April 16, 2009

Basal Be Gone

I have to say that I'm highly enjoying not taking my temp every morning. I used to be a total stress case and could hardly sleep through the night for fear of what the dreaded thermometer would say. Now I sleep like a baby (so to speak).

We're 8DPO today. Beta blood work is schedule for Tuesday so fingers crossed that goes well but only time will tell. No real symptoms (aside from those from the progesterone) which I'm kind of grateful for because I have no false hope at the moment.

I've been very good about taking my vitamins, drinking my Fertilitea and eating my pineapple. Not sure how much this truly has an affect on the outcome but it's a small comfort to me. It's all about that sense of control, right?

April 13, 2009

Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

April 9, 2009

It Gets Better!!

This week continues to move in an upwards direction! We got a call last night from my sister telling us that she's ENGAGED!! How exciting is that?!?

I now totally feel like we're getting old. This is the same younger sister who I used to play circus and synchronized swimmers with in the basement, get her to do things for me by telling her I was timing her to see how fast it would take for her to get me a drink from the fridge and the one who I would totally freak out by turning off all the lights, sneak into her room and make loud breathing noises until she screamed.

Amy and I are both so happy for her and of course for her fiance too. Poor guy is coming into a family full of women. So you know he has to be pretty amazing to deal with something like us.

This picture was taken at our wedding. Next picture will be taken at theirs!

April 8, 2009

Done and Done

So now we wait. IUI #1 and #2 are complete. I really think our luck is turning around so I hope it carries us through the next two weeks.

1. Amy's company is paying for 100% of the cost to fix her car

2. We don't need a new roof but a friend of a friend said he could fix it for half the price we were quoted from another company.

3. I lost my key in Garden Ridge yesterday and found it again. It was seriously a needle in a haystack situation. I thought I was on an episode of the Amazing Race where my "Road Block" was to search through all the silk flowers in the store and find my key. I still can't believe I actually found it.

So now all I have to do is keep my mind busy. So far I'm going to go see Heather Armstrong (aka Dooce) at a book signing tonight, I'm going to make a bag so I have a place to put my keys when I go into stores and we have a wedding to go to this weekend. Then there is LOST tonight so I think I'm good for this week. Better start planning activities for next week ASAP.

April 6, 2009

Trigger Tonight

The doctor was VERY impressed with my body's reaction to the Follistim. We trigger tonight and do IUI#1 tomorrow and IUI#2 on Wednesday. Another twist to this cycle is the addition of progesterone, guess we'll see how that goes.

CD3-5: 150IU
CD6: 100IU
CD7: 50IU
CD8: Ovidrel

CD6: 466
CD8: 1247

Endo Lining:
CD6: 8.3mm
CD8: 11.1mm

Right side: 20.5mm, 2-17mm, 15mm, 13mm, 12mm and 11mm
Left side: 20mm, 15mm, 13mm and 12mm

April 4, 2009

Things Are Moving Along Quickly

Had our scan today (CD6) and have been inundated with information that I'm still trying to weed through. In summary:

CD3-5: 150IU
CD6: 100IU
CD7: 50IU

CD6: 466

Endo Lining:
CD6: 8.3mm

Right side: 2-14mm, 2-11mm, 2-10mm and 9mm
Left side: 13mm, 11mm and 10mm

We go in again for another scan Monday morning. That's the good news. Now for the bad news. This has been a heinous week. Not only did 1/4 of our roof shingles blow off our house on Tuesday but on Friday I dented/scraped Amy's passenger side door of her car (not going to lie it's pretty bad).

We've been told by a previous adjuster that our roof is crap so we're hoping that this adjuster tells us we need a whole new roof instead of just a patch job(which will get covered under insurance) and since Amy's car is a company car we're hoping any out-of-pocket expenses we are responsible for are minimal.

I'm hoping this is the universe's way of dumping loads of crap on us so that we can be extra happy when the good news comes later this month in the form of a BFP :)

April 2, 2009

In Hiding

I feel so pathetic right now. My boss brought his 3month old into the office for everyone to naturally ooohh and aaah over. I went over and did the polite quick visit and threw in a "beautiful baby" comment and have since high tailed it to the other side of the office where I can't see or hear the baby. A place that is safe from the pregnancy and children discussions that all the moms on the other side are having.

I'm in a phase right now where it is physically and emotionally to difficult to be around babies. I've skirted every opportunity of being in their presence. I notice that I go through these phases. At times I can't get enough of being able to visit and play with other people's babies and other times I can't run away from them fast enough.

Hopefully this ends soon cause I hate making excuses and hiding from people. *sigh*