Torture in the 21st Century

Good news first...we had our first IUI this afternoon! Now the rest of the story.

*Warning the information below might be too traumatic for some readers*

We went in for our IUI, did the whole routine of feet in stirrups, etc. The doctor said everything looked good until she tried to put the catheter needle thing in and she couldn't get it though my cervix, at this point the word tenaculum passed her lips. Now to those of you who are saying "huh, what is this thing she is talking about", let me give you the definition and image of this medieval torture device so you can truly appreciate the afternoon I refer to as hell.

Tenaculum: A long-handled, slender, hooked instrument for lifting and holding parts, such as blood vessels, during surgery.


(Pay particular attention to the sharp pointy ends)

I knew I was in trouble even before she started using the device. One look at the horror that was plastered across Amy's face made me realize that tenaculum was not a fancy medical term for cotton swab.

So at this point she had to use this instrument from satan to clamp my cervix in place and then use it to straighten out the kink (I'm paraphrasing here) so that the catheter could pass though. When she tugged on this thing to straighten out said kink I swear I flew off the table. The pain radiated EVERYWHERE in my lower body. I believe the exact words I screamed were "OH MY GOD!" I'm not even going to pretend that I was brave, tears were streaming down my face. I don't think I would have made it through if Amy wasn't there holding my hand. Needless to say I'm more than sore right now. The thing that made it all worthwhile was that Amy was allowed to push down on the syringe.

I wish the experience wouldn't have been so traumatic. This whole day has made me wonder if I can't handle this kind of pain how am I going to handle childbirth. I'll be honest, I'm scared to go back tomorrow.

Brief Update

I'm on CD15 still no peak on the monitor or +OPK. I did get a faint line on the OPK this morning so it looks like it might be tomorrow. I had a tentative appointment scheduled for this afternoon that I think is going to be canceled and moved to tomorrow. I'm still waiting to hear back from the doctor. *sigh*

UPDATE: Doctor still wants me to come in and we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted.

PASSPORT HELL

Sorry, I need to vent.....

About 5 months ago I applied for a passport and I still do not have it. The other day I decided to call the passport office. I have called before but they only let you talk to someone if you are travelling within two weeks. This time, I called and lied and said I was traveling on Sept. 30th. They told me I will be receiving a letter in the mail claiming I need to prove I am who I am and that I am a US citizen. It took them 5 months to send me this information. I thought okay no big deal, that was until I got the letter.

The US passport office is making me provide 5 forms of ID, list every place I have ever lived, every job I have ever had, every school I have ever attended, and list my families name, birth date, and where they were born.

Thanks to Melissa getting a jump on this it didn't take me as long as the normal person but it was time consuming (Thank God I'm 31 and not 75!). I mean do you know every place you lived and the years you lived there. The most difficult thing to do was the 5 forms of ID. Luckily for me I have an out of state drivers license and a state ID. I also used my social security card and a year book picture (with a copy of the cover). The last form of ID was a copy of my signature/dated contract for my mortgage.

I had to go send this Fed Ex and pay $25 to ship this out. This is such bullshit that I had to go through all of this. It would have been one thing if I would have found this out after 2 months but 5 months later. Keep in mind that this is all after I asked the passport guy if I should rush my passport and he of course said "no you'll get it in pleanty of time to fly to Canada for your wedding". Ummm...no...not so much!

I wonder how long it will take to get my passport now. What a joke.

So Excited

I am so excited about this upcoming week as is Melissa but for two different reasons. Melissa is excited about the upcoming ACL festival and I am excited about finally experiencing our first insemination. Don't get me wrong Melissa is excited but very nervous and ACL is a great distraction from the stress.

I never thought I would be so excited about the first try. About 8 months ago I was preparing to not get excited because the odds of it working on the first try is against us. Now I am so excited that words cannot express my feelings. I believe that there is a chance it will work and the thought of Melissa getting pregnant is so amazing. I can't wait until we start this journey next week.

If you can't tell how excited I am just count the number of times I used excited in this post!

Headaches

I wish the world could just stand still. Is it too hard to have 1 month where everything is perfect and nothing goes wrong so that we can simply focus on TTC. Unfortunately, life around us continues to move without any consideration of our plans.

I swear I'm trying really hard to be all come and zen but I've had a headache for the past 7 days and I'll be the first to admit that it's probably stress related. Work is crazy right now, there are things that need to be fixed in our house and yard, along with coordinating ACL and our insemination. I did check one item off my to do list and got life insurance this week.

Amy keeps telling me to stop stressing about stuff and to let her take on the stress. But that's not the roles of our relationship, I'm the stresser and she is the laid back one. It's going to be hard to let go of control and hand it over to Amy to take over. Today is the first day in 7 days that I've been headache free so I'm taking that as a sign that I'm slowly letting go (NOTE: Amy says I'm totally not!)