July 6, 2010

So Who's His Real Mom???

We had the worst experience EVER coming back from Toronto while going through U.S. customs. Since of course we aren't a family by U.S. standards Amy went through on her customs form and Jack and I went together on my customs form. I truly believe part of the training process when hiring for a customs officer is to have them watch hours of footage of cute animals and even cuter babies, then every time they even show a hint of a smile they are electrocuted so that they are eventually programmed to be assholes.

Jack and I get up to our guy and I'm asked for some some of my travel/work documents. I didn't know what forms he was talking about and was curtly told that I didn't fill out one of my forms and so I needed to go back to the end of the line to get the additional document. Now I was polite as can be because I know that this person is my judge and jury for letting me into the country. I nicely ask him if I could get Jack cleared to go through and hand him off to his other mom so that I can go through the line again etc. since I didn't think Jack would make it through the wait again. At which point I was asked, "Who is his real mother?". I was so shocked by his question that it took all of my power not to get angry because once again judge/jury kept running through my head. Well he basically said no I wasn't allowed to hand Jack off and that I would need to go and get the form before I was allowed to pass though. The topper for me was when he was analyzing Jack's birth certificate (which we thankfully brought with us) and started questioning me about why Jack's last name is different than my last name. Grrrr.

In the meantime Amy is waiting for Jack and I not sure what is going on, scared that we weren't being allowed in for some reason. She was begging for them to let her back through so that she could get to us and at the very least bring Jack through with her. When she explained that her son was over on the other side, she was barked at and told they didn't care who he was and that she needed to keep moving.

Needless to say we are happy to be home but don't feel very welcomed.


Schroedinger said...

That is HORRIBLE! I have had various terrible experiences with customs, too, and I think a part of their training also includes hassling completely harmless looking lesbians just to see if they can make them cry.

Ugh, I am so sorry.

Jackie said...

Oh my god! What a nightmare! Glad you all made it through OK.

On a lighter note, Happy 5 Months, Jack!

Pufferfish said...

I am so, so, so sorry. I have to say that our experience coming through from Argentina was incredibly positive.
Your experience is the exact reason we decided to all take the same last name., especially because we travel internationally so frequently.
We entered the line as one family, no questions asked. We carried all of our documents with us but we were never asked for anything but passports on either end.
The immigrations officials were very nice to us and welcomed us back home.
I really hope your next trip goes better. Maybe just enter the line as one family next time. After all, many family members have different last names, but are still one family.
Then again...the difference could be entering in Texas vs. New York. I think in NY they have seen everything!

CD and SP said...

ugh!!! that makes me so horribly angry for you guys!

A+K said...

That is awwful!! I'm so sorry you had such a negative experience! Hopefully your next trip will be 100x better!

Welcome home!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I can't imagine the stress and fear. You kept your wits about you very well, but still. I'm sorry.

Shannon said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry. We had a similar experience coming back into Canada with our son, where they lectured us about not having his long-form birth certificate stating that we're both his parents. I was like, dude, we have his *passport* which we BOTH had to sign for as his parents! I was so annoyed because we're both listed on his birth certificate as his parents and no one else has to carry the long form around with them! The guy admitted that their office hadn't caught up to the law yet. I replied that maybe they should work on that because we weren't forking out money that no one else has to fork out just because we're a same-sex couple. If we can get him a passport by both signing as his parents, then they should bloody well accept it.

tbean said...

That is totally abhorrent! I'm sorry you had to deal with that bs.

Anonymous said...

That's terrible! I'm so sorry you had to experience that.

jessie said...

what a nightmare! I'm so sorry that you had to go through that!

Rockin` Mama said...

I just wanted to say how sorry I was and that sometimes people suck!!!!